Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the latest news about the plan to kill the Mammoth once and for all and about the first victim that the new Russet Salvation potato claim for his own. The victim was none other than the mentally-unstable Clement, the claimed hunter that tried to take down the Mammoth on his own. He was supposed to be detained in Woodbridge Mental Hospital to receive his treatment but escaped one morning.
The escapee believed that before he escaped using his spoon to dig out of the wall of his cell. He was last seen running into the forest surrounding the facility. Security guard was baffled to see how he could get out of his cell by just using a spoon. Wanted posters were immediately issued out with his retarded face and descriptions about him which includes various statements that "He has two assholes." and "He walks with a limp." However, many ignore the wanted posters as they're more interested in the entrapping of the Mammoth. It was not long before Clement was found again.
At about 3 p.m. today, police received a phone call about someone dying from mistakenly eating the Russet Salvation potato. The victim was none other than Clement himself. Evidence pointed out that after he made it out of the forest, he robbed a man for his clothes before going on a potato-spree. Warnings about the Russet Salvation potato mistakenly mixed with the normal potato species were given out but we doubt that Clement knew about it. He was the 13 year-old boy with an IQ of a 4 year-old after all. The symptoms were clearly shown as his buttocks and head were larger than usual. His body were carried out and thrown at a local dump as no one really cared about him.
In other news, the Mammoth hunt continued live until yesterday night. The day before the claimed strategists found a fool-proof method to capture the Mammoth and kill him once and for all. At about 8 p.m. Alaska local time, the trap was set with the Russet Salvation potato as bait. The potato were supposed to stun him before everyone goes on a killing spree and try to slice him into many small bits. However, the trap backfired. The Mammoth appeared at about 10 p.m., faster than anyone expected him to come. He sniffed out the potato and growled in delight. He swallowed one and continued after another. It seems that he, the great Mammoth, was IMMUNE to the toxins found in the skin of the potato. After finishing the them all, he went rolling back into the hills in search for more potatoes.
Scientist are baffled about this as the potato were fool-proof that already had claimed 2 human and 1 elephant during testing phase. The hunters, who were eager to chop the Mammoth up has gone back home to their respective countries, disappointed that they could not lay their hands on the Mammoth. Genetic engineers are now working around the clock to increase the potency of the toxins found in the Russet Salvation potatoes. The proof that the Mammoth was immune to the potato effects is still a mystery that needs solving.
Stay tuned for more news about the Mammoth in Coro Coro News. The Sudden News Report correspondent reporting.
