CoroCoroNews

Mammoth Strikes Back

2009-03-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

Good evening ladies & gentle-freak, this is JaBlack, the news correspondent of Sudden News Report, reporting of another tragic case of the Mammoth. However, we would like to explain about our absence these few months.

It has been a long while since we all took a break & we decided to go our separate ways for a holiday. CrankerZ went to visit Zhi Der, the ex-Coro Coro News correspondent to learn about our favourite sport, the Burning Salvation, or whatever the name is. Seriously, it's outdated. & I was supposed to join Gyan, another one of our ex-correspondent on the Sudden News branch. I had an enjoyable time looking at the ladies & singing with him. When it was time to go back to work, CrankerZ was reported missing.

It seems that he was Mammoth-napped by our fiendish fat friend of gigantic porpotions. Rumours has it that he baited CrankerZ by pretending to be his grandmother who was supposed to be sick. & Little Red CrankerZ visited his grandma to bring her some potato bread. Afterwards, there was no more word of our CrankerZ. We panickly searched for him in these past few months but to no avail.

However, this evening, I, JaBlack, garbage eating son-of-a-gun, received a text message from the Mammoth. He was trying to blackmail the comapany by asking us a ransom of 50 sacks of potatoes. This is the actual sms :

I have kidnapped ur fellow hunter crankerz. If u want him alive bring my 50 sacks of potato.

Clearly, the Mammoth doesn't know how to spell the word "you" & doesn't know how to count. Our stratergist are now planning a way to sabotage the Mammoth by sending him Russet Salvation potatoes & try to burn the Mammoth alive instead of experimenting whether the advertisement should include a free potato or not.

More news about CrankerZ's kidnapping would be posted here. Until then, please be wary of the gigantic hairy glutinous waste of space as he just turned a life of crime, next to the stealing of various potatoes. This is JaBlack, saying "Cabbage is the best source of garbage around", goodnight everybody.

2009-01-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I'm JaBlack the Sudden News Correspondent. As you might have noticed, the blog site was down temporarily. The reason was an accident I had, during the school holidays. Due to the absence of this, and CrankerZ's maniacal hunting down of the Mammoth, we missed the new season of Survivor. So, our bad.

It all started with my day off. I was in my favourite garbage pile looking for something to eat for my breakfast, when I found this beautiful potato skins. The moron didn't even cut it properly, and there was bits of potato left in the skin! I slowly place the end of the potato skin in my mouth and savour the taste.

However, before I even chewed it, I felt a blow at the back of my head, and before I knew it, a giant hairy, potato-smelled hand reached into my mouth, and yanked the potato skin out. I was outrageous. My motto was "To never let anyone steal my garbage." next to "Rotten cabbages are the best!". So I decided to engaged in combat.

The gigantic potato-robbing son of a gun turned out to be the Mammoth. He was in a rage. Turns out that he had escaped the Survivor game before it had ended. I quickly called CrankerZ to help me dispose of this inorganic son of a b*tch. However, CrankerZ was busy out hunting the Loch Ness monster in New Zealand, and I was all alone.

It was not long before the winner was found. And it was the Mammoth. I laid defeated, on the ground while he roared and drooled all over my body. Then, he turned head over heels and ran as fast as his stubby legs can carry a 500 - pounds of walking blubber, oil and fats combined.

Right now, I'm in the hospital garbage facility, as I always found this the best place, writing my story. I swear that the Mammoth would be brought down, by my bent plastic knife. Why plastic knife, and bent one, you could ask. The reason being, all the thrown knifes in the garbage have snapped ends, blunt, and always covered in an odd substance that might be blood. It oddly looks like a murder weapon, too.

This is JaBlack, having my morning garbage in the hospital's garbage disposal facility, ending this report. Please be on the lookout for the Mammoth as he had turned into a frenzy ever since the Survivor incident. Our motto is, "If you bring a potato with you while walking on the street, please have your last will ready."

Mammoth Reloaded

2008-12-04T01:47:00.001-08:00

The hunt continues for the potato eating freak, The Mammoth. Just hearing its name scared the shit out of many. Yesterday, the mammoth was captured after being chained by a total of 89 dog leash. The dog leash is said by its manufacturer dat it is mammothproof and will not break even if it is holding 10 mammoths.

After the captured, the guard was bribed by mr burnett, the founder of Survivor, This time the whole new season will be called. Survivor: Mammoth Reloaded. Interested peoples are to send in a short clip free of pornographic materials, nudity, violence and vulgarities. The clip should include a brief intro about urself.

Now back to Survivor, the first stage reqires all participents to swim through a sea of potato and find a Russet Salvation potato. The person that fails will go through a penatly round, the penatly is to take a bite of any potato they find on a sea of a mixture of russet salvation potato and normal potatoes, if the person ate a Russet Salvation Potato, Says GG to him.

We will keep you posted on the other stages

CrankerZ of Corocoronews Reporting

Jacky's Trial - Revealed

2008-12-02T02:14:00.000-08:00

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. JaBlack here reporting in about the case of serial rapist Jacky's trial. The results was only released today as there some major difficulties regarding the trial which took place on Monday.

From what the reports go, Jacky arrived at the fictional Singapore's Juicidal Court at 8 a.m. morning escorted with S.W.A.T. personals carrying weaponry. Also, witnesses also claimed that he was bound by dog leash. His lawyer, Mr McLawyerPerson, arrived a few minutes later. The trial began at 9 a.m. sharp with Judge Mdm JudgesALot.

The details was not released but, it was known that Jacky decided to fake an attempt a visit to the toilet. After being left alone at his cubible, he removed the toilet bowl with difficulty. His guards believed he was suffering from constipation and decided to fetch a doctor. When they came back, the toilet bowl was moved and the whole cubicle was covered with shit which horribly smell likes shit. The scene was left at it is and I had a chance to visit it. It was not as bad it was described. Actually, it was much more aromatic than the usual Monday morning's garbage.

A whole area combing search was issued. After five hours of continous search, one of the guards realised that the dog leash he had put on Jacky had a tracking device in it. The guard was demoted for his stupidity and promoted again for finally remembering it, resulting in remaining in the same position before demotion and promotion. Jacky was tracked to a local stripper's club.

He was once again detained with more charges. He was then proven guilty and was to be excuted using the electric chair. However, he begged to have his last wish granted - having to eat potatoes. It was, nevertheless, the strangest wish that one has wished for, but it was granted, nonetheless. He was savoring the potato before painfully being electrocuted. The potato in his mouth was then harvest to be recycled into new potatoes.

That's all for today's news. Please tune in for more disturbing news that make you laugh your ass off. I'm JaBlack, here at the local garbage recycling plant having my evening garbage, have a good night.

PS : I'd like to thank one of you who keeps dumping your rotten cabbages into the dump - They're my favourite!

The Run-Away Rapist - Captured and Detained

2008-11-29T06:03:00.001-08:00

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm JaBlack of the Sudden News Department bringing you the most flabbergasting news we had so far. About 2 p.m. earlier today, a local police station received a call from a nearby clinic doctor that claimed he has the notorious Jacky, the fictional rapist from the !Kung bushmen captive, seeking for treatment in his clinic.

The S.W.A.T. team was dispatched immediately as Jacky has been known to be as slippery as his dick covered with semen. After surrounding the clinic, S.W.A.T. team leader, Hash Brown entered the premises to interrogate Jacky himself. However, this proved to be much more difficult than expected since Jacky could only click his tongue and made weird noises that sounds like a woodpecker drugged on caffeine. Brown decided to send a audio tape to some retard that could speak their lingo.

The translations are as follow : "I was running around the street, looking for my next victim when I found her. She was a buxom woman around her twenties so I decided to insert it. While I was screwing her, another man saw me in the act. He decided it was the new trend and decided to join in. He repeatedly inserted his dick into my asshole. I yelled and scream telling him to stop and have mercy. The bloody homosexual continued until my ass bleeds. Once he saw blood, he ran away like a sissy. It was so painful I cannot even pass my waste properly."

After examining the bushman's rectum, his story seems to confirm it. It was agreed that after getting his treatment, Jacky would be sent to jail for rapping and claiming eight people's virginity. However, he made a break for it while the doctor decided to clean his fingers which was covered in shit. Fortunately, the clinic was still surrounded by S.W.A.T. team and his prison-break was unsuccessful. His trial would be held in the make-belief Singapore's Juicidal Court on Monday morning.

That is all for today's news. Please keep tuning on to Coro/Sudden News blog site for the latest news of the front paper that are too stupid or embarrasing to be reported. I'm JaBlack, your garbage-eating son of a gun, reporting in.

Economic Crisis - Continual

2008-11-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, it's JaBlack, the Sudden News Correspondent reporting in today. As you might've known, the blog site has been inactive for a while until yesterday. It was due to the economical crisis, that our producer only decided to host the blog again after much bribery, blackmailing and shoving burning Russet Salvation potatoes up his ass.

In other news, the word that a purely fictional !Kung people, named Jacky that had went on a rapping spree is setting fire into virgin's heart. After today, he had already robbed seven virgins of their virginity. And three of them were male. Due to the shock of being raped, the seven non-virgins are spending their time with a local psychiatrist. Their course would be done after a full seven days.

Jacky, the run-away rapist, had not been captured yet. Due to his nature of surviving in near desert region, he would not be able to adapt to Singapore's environment yet. Scientist and hunters believed the best time to capture him, would be now. However, it is not an easy task. As !Kung people could spend their days walking and running on the desert plains for a period of long time, they are able to pro-long their time here, in a humid environment like Singapore.

In other totally related news, it was believed that Jacky, had a connection to the Mammoth as he had left behind a gooey-like substance from one of the seven crime scenes. It was not known why only one of the crime scene had them but after careful analysis, it was believed to be the 60% powder potato from Mr Bald potato factory. The powder dissolved when the victim dropped his half-eaten baked potato into a puddle of rain water, creating that gooey-like substance on the ground.

Also, the economical crisis had turned global yesterday evening. Many people decided to drop eating potatoes as it was very expensive due to the Mammoth's usual potato spree, and decided to change into tapioca instead. It was far more cheaper and richer in fiber than the normal potato. Furthermore, it was much more affordable as some crazed son of a lunatic decided to go on a tapioca-planting spree. His harvest were a total of 10, 000kg of tapioca which the market would be buying for a total $50,000,000. The lunatic, Mr Plantsalot, was unavailable for comment as he was preparing for a carrot-planting spree.

The economical crisis had stopped the cloning progress of the fictional Russet Giant potatoes. Funding were needed and the government decided to switch to tapioca as they heard it was cheaper. Scientists were ordered to drop the Russet Giant potatoes project and decided to genetically engineered a tapioca to produce even more bigger edible roots which only need minimum amount of water and sunlight.

This is the end of our news report, I'm JaBlack of the Sudden News Correspondent, reporting. Please tune in to catch more news that has branch out after the Mammoth was Missing In Action, if our son of a gun producer decided to host the blog site.

New Cases

2008-11-27T02:10:00.000-08:00

In the past few months there have been a continuous case of serial raping, after much investigation, the police found out that it was done by the same person after bring the "liquid substance" left behind by the rapist, the serial rapist is known as jacky, a !kung who escaped to singapore to satisfy his lust,

This serial rapist must be stopped before it become a incident like the mammoth's. We Blive it was somehow related to the mammothic boy.

JaBlack will keep you updated with this news

CrankerZ from corocoro news reporting

Economic Crisis

2008-11-27T02:02:00.000-08:00

Good day everyone, I'm CrankerZ reporting for corocoro news. As u know, the large potato eating creature known as the mammoth appeared no long ago and started attacking randomly on various potato plantations. Recently, Mr Bald, a CEO of a potato starch company was sued for sabotaging the ingrediants and subsituting about 60% of the starch with powder. He confessed and told the reporters dat he had no choice but to do so as the mammoth is eating so much potato that he is getting broke. He is also charged with bribery as he tried to bribe a police officer with a 5 dollars note. Theres one more thing before i end this report. As i was eating my breakfast- a bowl of mashed potatoes, the mammoth suddenly appeared and forced open my mouth forced its big paw into it and grabbing the potato i was chewing and placed it into his own mouth, there will be another news coming up on a recent case of serial raping.

News Update - Unknown Island Discovered

2008-11-21T22:58:00.000-08:00

Top of the afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I'm JaBlack with several good news and bad news. First off, I'm finally done with my English supplementary lessons and I'm proud to say, I passed with flying colours. This means I'd be your correspondent much more often. Nonetheless, you would also be seeing much more of CrankerZ. He is now tracking the Mammoth to the island that I mentioned earlier.

During the last potato spree by the Mammoth, one of the Secret Service people managed to placed a tracking device near the creature's rump. After countless hours of tracking the Mammoth all over the world, it finally was on a course towards the Indian Ocean. Chaos surged as it was believed he was going to start another Tsunami for the fun of it. The news travelled fast and soon, the whole world was shaken to its knees. Dominating countries sent countless waves of soldiers and marines to stop the Mammoth. However, within confrontation, none had survived against its awesome powers such as tou pok or rolling like a bowling ball.

Afterwards, the leaders of the Nation decided on an assasination attempt, but, they didn't have time as the Mammoth could travel an amazing speed of more than 100 km/h in one go. At about 3 a.m., local time, the Mammoth was found to stop in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The leaders were baffled. Soon, a scout team was sent to the Mammoth's location. They had expected to see the Mammoth floating on its back, dead in the Ocean when they arrived. However, they witnessed an island, filled with many insectoid creatures that never existed in the first place. The island was uncharted in any known maps and there was no myths or legends about it whatsoever.

After hearing this drastic news, Coro Coro News correspondent, CrankerZ, was dispatched with a team of hunters and a scientist to discover more about this island. After 24 hours on the island, the Mammoth was no where to be found and the creatures on the island made it difficult for a massive combing search to be issued. They decided to study the animals instead. When one of the hunters was attacked by one of the creature, CrankerZ blew it up with his dynamite. Amazingly, the creature exploded and covered the entire team in its juices which strongly smelled of potatoes. The creatures, after thorough investigation and research, resembles a native ant species but much larger in size. The liquid goo was infact discovered to be rich in starch, much commonly found in ordinary potatoes.

This discovery prompt an immediate search to find out why the ant had potato starch in its system. After several hours of searching, at last they found the reason why. The island, was extremely rich in potatoes. However, the potatoes were much bigger than our counterpart and are as big as watermelons. One specimen was sent to the Nation's laboratory to be studied. It turns out that the potato species were supposedly had gone extinct in the middle of the Jurassic Era. The fictional gigantic potato was named Russet Giant after it's amazing size and similarity to the Russet Burbank potatoes. It was now understood why the Mammoth was here in the first place.

The discovery of the Russet Giant species of potatoes on the fictional island called, Potato Wonderland after a potato-eating child said so, prompt a global frenzy of cultivating the potatoes to decrease the demand for normal potatoes. A test subject fed with the Russet Giant potato are now in captivity with no visual effects on his body. This means that the potato is suitable for human consumption. However, in other news, the tracking device on the Mammoth's rump had ran out of batteries, made it impossible to track the Mammoth now. It was still believed he had resided in this island to feast on the local ants or the Russet Giant potatoes until his starch levels are full to continue on his potato spree.

That's all the news for today folks. Please tune in to Coro/Sudden News Blog for more informantion about the Mammoth. Also, it was believed that the day he was born was rumoured only two days away which many claimed, the Ending of the Potatoes Day. I'm JaBlack, the current Sudden News Report Correspondent, have a nice day.

New Hands New News

2008-11-18T22:24:00.001-08:00

Hi, everyone, i am CrankerZ, the new correspondent for the corocoro news, i used to be a potato farmer who graduated from a neighborhood kindergarden, I promise to make the mammoth times the best newspaper in town. Our paper are not like those from streets times, daily times who just print toilet papers for us to use.

Coro Coro will be hiring new reporters to join our company together with the sudden news report, the reqirements are as stated
1: Education up to primary 3
2: Virgin
3: Daily allowance of more den 2 dolas
4: Play computer games
5: Able to work for 15 hrs a day excluding OT

Reporters will be given pay of 45 dolas a month.

Pls tag ur personal infos on the tagboard

Retirement & New Hands on Deck

2008-11-17T23:57:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, two new replacements would be available to take over the correspondent roles. JaBlack would be taking over Sudden News Report while CrankerZ would take over Coro Coro News. The interviews with the ex and current correspondents would be recorded down below.

Due to some reasons from our two correspondents, they decided to retire to pursue their goals in life. Zhi Der would be retiring from Coro Coro News to pursue his dreams of becoming a professional Burning Salvation player after watching and interviewing the participants in the previous competitions. When comented on why he didn't want to continue his post, he said this : "I enjoy burning other retarded people's asses like Neckolos... I always wanted to be a part of the Burning Salvation commitee 'cause I've always played with nucleur bombs since young." After recording this statement, police officers suddenly emerged and carried Zhi Der off. Seems like people didn't learn their lesson by digging their own graves.

However, we did not get much info from our Sudden News correspondent as after handing in his retirement slip, he made a break for it. Gyan was later seen at the beach with a few beach babes while he sang "I Got It From My Mama" by will.i.am. He was not available for comment as he was busy looking at those beach babes. Our two new correspondent was also reluctant to leave the beach site.

When questioned about why they wanted to take the position of correspondents, both our newbies told their interesting tale to us. When interviewed, CrankerZ confessed, "I wanted to exact revenge on that freak. I was once a very rich potato farmer, earning a profitable life. After the Mammoth's escape from the dog leashes, he robbed me of my potatoes. I joined this to be able to track the Mammoth and avenge myself for what he had done to me." After saying this, CrankerZ was engulfed in fury that the interview team did not dare to question him any further.

As for JaBlack, he has this to say, "What can I say? I just do it for the money, that's all. I used to live on the streets, eating potatoes and stuff like that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, well the Mammoth robbed me of my delicious garbage and made my life even harder. It's a pain in the ass, you know? So I take this job 'cause I can get high pay out of this and all you have to do is just tell people some shits... Can't be more fucked about that..." Afterwards, he was pressed on by the manager of Coro/Sudden News Agency to not spew vulgarities and to take a language course. He was last seen storming off into a local tuiton centre to take an English course.

I'm the behind-the-scenes man of Coro/Sudden News Agency and you're reading the Coro Coro News blog. Expect more posts by our new correspondent, CrankerZ and JaBlack. Until then, tune in for more news about Mammoth that blows you away. Good day everybody.

Sudden Outbreak - Winner Emerged and Mammoth Strikes Back

2008-11-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for the past three days, we have been stationed at Lim Chu Kang's Burning Salvation Arena to document on the Burning Salvation Competition that was held recently. It was supposed to be a private competition and media press were not allowed to enter according to the caretaker. However, when we arrived, the caretaker was not there and rumours told that he has to go for an operation as a potato was stuck to his ass earlier this week.

After two days of intense competition, only five competitors were left. The final day was supposed to be held for the finals. Clearly, this remaining competitiors were profesional and know what to do except one, Mr Neckolos, who was released before the start of the competition after being detained in the local police station for playing with Napalm. It seems that he has the habit of hiding under other victims bodies until there was one person left where he would stuff a potato up his or her mouth in which, it simultaneously combust into flames.

Before the start of the match, two helicopters, carry five tonnes worth of Russet Salvation potato each, was sent by the Russet Salvation factory units to the Arena to re-fill the potato supply. A total of ten tonnes were set for the match as each match could last for up to a day with two hours of interval break. It is now become a must that competitors to bring an oxygen tank in the Arena. Also, a weaponary or shield are allowed to be brought inside the Arena.

For the first two hours match, Mr Neckolos was the first one to be elimated, or in his case, burnt crispy black. While trying to run away from a barrage from Toa Payoh's Mr Kurohime-san, Mr Neckolos's oxygen tank was heavily punctured by Pasir Ris's Mrs Sunar's Swiss Army Knife which she brought into the Arena. The oxygen leaking from the tank caught fire immediately and roasted him alive. By the end of the first match, three people were remaining which includes Mr Kurohime, Mrs Sunar and Pakistan native Mr Kumaronald.

The three way match lasted until the third match. The potato Mrs Sunar throwed were deflected by Mr Kurohime-san using his baseball bat that he brought in. After thorough background check, he was once a profesional Japanese baseball player until he was addicted to burning people up in Burning Salvation. The potato exploded infront of Mrs Sunar and her hair caught fire. She started panicking and running around like a retard before her oxygen mask were engulfed in the fire on her hair. Simultaneously, the oxygen tank exploded, killing her in the process. After the match, Mr Kumaronald claimed to have lost an eyebrow because of the blast.

The whole Burning Salvation season ended when Mr Kumaronald successfully stuffed a burning potato up Mr Kurohime's ass and it exploded. Mr Kurohime's body reported flew and hit the glass dome and puncturing a hole in the glass which his head was struck to. The smell of burning flesh attracted many of the forest birds and soon they were pecking Kurohime's eyeballs like there was no tomorrow. Mr Kumaronald was declared victorious and was presented with a trophy. He also won a trip to a Russet Salvation potato plant in Australia.

After the match, the only problem they had was how to get rid of the remaining Russet Salvation potatoes. Only one tonne was used in the finals. The judges were racking their brains on how to get rid of them when the Mammoth emerged from the forest and went on a potato spree. Roaring and rampaging like a retard, he smashed a few spectators stand and ate up the rest of the Russet Salvation potatoes. After he had finished, he rolled back into the bushes. Hunters were dispatched at once and before long, they came back empty handed. It was to be believed that the Mammoth was hibernating as it was not seen for the past week. It was not known why a creature like him would be hibernating but it was suggested that the mammoth genes in his body prodded him to hibernate. Scientists could be seen in Lim Chu Kang's forest area looking for the place where the Mammoth took shelter while he was hibernating.

That was all the news for today. Please tune in for more Mammothic news of gigantic porpotions. I'm the Sudden News Correspondent, have a nice day.

Good & Entertaiment News

2008-11-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

It has been a few days after the Alaskan Tunnel disaster involving the notorious Mammoth. Now, there's a slice of good news to it. The Mammoth had not been seen since the incident and to be believed on the run again, moving from Alaska to supposedly, Central Europe and beyond. One thing is for sure, we won't be seeing his face in awhile.

In other news, after scientist failed to kill the Mammoth using the Russet Salvation potato, they've invented numerous way to get rid of them. However, many proved to be unsuccessful. One idea though, manage to be the gateway to getting rid of all the potatoes. Throwing Russet Salvation potato is now considered a sport by many competitors. The game is played in a field which has a temperature of 60 degrees Celsius to allow the RS potatoes to simultaneously combust into flames. The main goal of the sport is to burn everyone else and be the last one standing, similar to a dodge ball match except you're playing with your lives.

RS potatoes would be dropped from above into the protective dome to protect the spectators from getting themselves hurt from the explosion. In about five seconds, the potato would explode into flames and the important tactics is to grab a falling one and throw before it explodes in your hands. Though just recently founded, many amateurs had their hands blown off their wrist due to hesitating in the throwing. The sport, called Burning Salvation after the Russet Salvation potatoes, is now gaining popularity in many countries including America, China, Australia, France and Singapore.

Sudden News, together with Coro Coro News decided to head down to the newly-built Burning Salvation Arena to interview the people who found this sport enjoyable. Mr Neckolos said this about the newly entertaining sport - "It was really enjoyable. The pleasure from watching people simultaneously burn and die cannot be put to words. This is even better than playing with Napalm during my younger days. I used to set my siblings asses on fire and howled with laughter as they run around looking like retards," he chortled off. After this statement was recorded, he was brought into the local police station to be questioned on how did he get the Napalm. He was just digging his own grave.

Though the death toll of Burning Salvation is climbing ever so higher, nobody cared as long as people get burnt down and die. The total deaths in Singapore has already climbed to about 50 person per Arena. Many of the bodies are just thrown out after they die. However, those bodies might not have been charred at all. The carbon dioxide (Co2) from the flames are trapped inside the glass domes as ventilation would mean fatality for the spectators. Many suffocate and die while trying to compete against each other.

Due to the popularity, many Russet Salvation potato farms are appearing in many agricultural countries. Tonnes of RS potatoes are delivered by helicopter to various Burning Salvation Arenas to meet their demand for the sport. Also, in other news, a Burning Salvation competition would be coming up soon to Lim Chu Kang's Burning Salvation Arena. Interested participants are to seek the caretaker and blackmail him into letting you participate by shoving Russet Salvation potatoes up his ass.

That's all for today's Mammoth Times. Please tune in for the next issue for more news about the Mammoth. I'm the Sudden News Report Correspondent and have a nice day.

Special News Update

2008-11-13T22:16:00.001-08:00

Today, corocoro together with the current news report worked with seconds from disasters to investigate on the mammothic accident dat happened yesterday evening, this is how the disaster goes. At around 4.30 pm, at an underground tunnel dat linked alsaka to one or its nearby island was attack by the mammoth, after a series of events, the tunnel brewed a raging inferno, temperatur reached over a thousand degrees, seconds from disasters investigated the scene and invited us [ corocoro and sudden news report] along. Over 200 lifes was lost in the incident, once again, the mammoth escaped scot free. Dr Grehan an expert on safety of underground tunnel stated dat the tunnel was build in such a way dat if potato gas was found, the vantilations will not be able to keep the air clean. Mr takashi tan ass wen, a survivor of the incident are going to the nearby island with his family members, Mrs Lingkai his wife and his daughter Ms Kok Sin. Fortunately they only suffered minor injures like brunt ass etc. Mr Takashi stated that most people died not because of the fire but of a unexpected cause, the mammoth's FART, which blown away nearby cars, since the vantilations were unable to make the air fresh, people died of a overdose of the smell and posion letted out through fart of the Russet Salvation potato, but nonetheless, the smell of the mammoth's fart still killed some people, oil leaks from the mammoth's rich blubber with is like a container for oil, somehow, it caught fire and brunt the tunnel causing a inferno of over a thousand degrees. thankfully, our efficent fire fighter managed to put out the fire. Zhider of corocoro reporting together with the sudden news report and the seconds from disaster

Breaking News - Potato Claimed First Victim But Not Mammoth

2008-11-12T00:58:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the latest news about the plan to kill the Mammoth once and for all and about the first victim that the new Russet Salvation potato claim for his own. The victim was none other than the mentally-unstable Clement, the claimed hunter that tried to take down the Mammoth on his own. He was supposed to be detained in Woodbridge Mental Hospital to receive his treatment but escaped one morning.

The escapee believed that before he escaped using his spoon to dig out of the wall of his cell. He was last seen running into the forest surrounding the facility. Security guard was baffled to see how he could get out of his cell by just using a spoon. Wanted posters were immediately issued out with his retarded face and descriptions about him which includes various statements that "He has two assholes." and "He walks with a limp." However, many ignore the wanted posters as they're more interested in the entrapping of the Mammoth. It was not long before Clement was found again.

At about 3 p.m. today, police received a phone call about someone dying from mistakenly eating the Russet Salvation potato. The victim was none other than Clement himself. Evidence pointed out that after he made it out of the forest, he robbed a man for his clothes before going on a potato-spree. Warnings about the Russet Salvation potato mistakenly mixed with the normal potato species were given out but we doubt that Clement knew about it. He was the 13 year-old boy with an IQ of a 4 year-old after all. The symptoms were clearly shown as his buttocks and head were larger than usual. His body were carried out and thrown at a local dump as no one really cared about him.

In other news, the Mammoth hunt continued live until yesterday night. The day before the claimed strategists found a fool-proof method to capture the Mammoth and kill him once and for all. At about 8 p.m. Alaska local time, the trap was set with the Russet Salvation potato as bait. The potato were supposed to stun him before everyone goes on a killing spree and try to slice him into many small bits. However, the trap backfired. The Mammoth appeared at about 10 p.m., faster than anyone expected him to come. He sniffed out the potato and growled in delight. He swallowed one and continued after another. It seems that he, the great Mammoth, was IMMUNE to the toxins found in the skin of the potato. After finishing the them all, he went rolling back into the hills in search for more potatoes.

Scientist are baffled about this as the potato were fool-proof that already had claimed 2 human and 1 elephant during testing phase. The hunters, who were eager to chop the Mammoth up has gone back home to their respective countries, disappointed that they could not lay their hands on the Mammoth. Genetic engineers are now working around the clock to increase the potency of the toxins found in the Russet Salvation potatoes. The proof that the Mammoth was immune to the potato effects is still a mystery that needs solving.

Stay tuned for more news about the Mammoth in Coro Coro News. The Sudden News Report correspondent reporting.

News Update - Potato of Salvation

2008-11-10T23:13:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I bring you great news about the new potato species, purely engineered to be the salvation to our Mammoth problems. Scientist have now managed to mass-produce this potato. Due to its long name, it has been renamed, the Russet Salvation type. One drop of the poison found in its skin is lethal enough to bring down a grown elephant. Surely the whole potato would be enough to bring down the gigantic Mammoth down.

In other news, the crazed mad-hunter, Clement, was brought to New York Downtown Police Station for questioning on why he stole the truck and where'd he get the potato bait from, since potato supplies was scarce. But mostly, the potato bait. He denied everything and demand to be released from custody as he need to feed his pet potato. Interesting enough, when tested for mentality, he was shown to have an IQ of just an average 4 year old. He was then sent to Woodbridge Mental Hospital for treatment.

Strategist are now gathering all over the world in Alaska to set up the trap involving the culling of the Mammoth. Many ideas were brought out but none has seem to be found logical enough to trap this gigantic feral child. Unfortunately, many are optimistic that they would bring down the Mammoth this time around. While bringing the potatoes by helicopter to Alaska, one of the crew accidentally mistook it for his lunch and ate it. Within an astonishing 5 seconds, he has departed from the world. Symptoms shown were the enlarging of head and buttocks, but mostly, the buttocks. The victim also turned into an unpleasant red colour. Studies have clearly shown that when the poison enters the bloodstream, the victim feels complete ecstasy which numbs the five senses. The poison then quickly find its way towards the heart and destroying the muscles. The victim clearly didn't feel anything at all before dying.

Though the Russet Salvation potato is very unstable, able to simultaneously combust when the temperature reaches 60 degrees Celsius, it's still looks like a normal potato. Though the potato may not be sold cormecially, we believed that it may slip occasionally into the food market and be eaten by consumers. Due to the lack of potato nowadays, we are sure potato-lovers would go on a potato-spree, could easily mistook this potato for the normal potato. It is now advisable to remove the skin from eating any type of potato to risk of eating the wrong type. After peeling off the skin, wash it in the washing machine with a lot of bleach to get rid of excess toxins. The resulting potato would not contain anymore of the deadly toxins.

Please watch out for the next issue of Coro Coro/Sudden News reports as it will cover more about the potato crisis and it's way to end it. Gyan of the Sudden News Report correspondent, reporting.

Breaking News - Mammoth Escaping to Alaska

2008-11-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, we brought to you great news that we had the Mammoth, on the run. The claimed security guard whom, the Mammoth robbed of his potato lunch had just sweared that he would not stop hunting the Mammoth down, until he saw him dead. Clement, in a fit of fury after he was robbed of his potatoes, went down to Downtown and bought a truck, complete with its own Gattling-gun and a sack of potatoes. When questioned whether he stole that truck, he aimed us with his Gattling-gun and open fire. Unfortunately, no one was hurt except the old woman who was crossing the street that time. The woman believed to be Clement's mother who was about to reprimand him for "buying" a truck. Clement ram down his mother before showing the "finger" and drove off.

For the past 2 days, we have been tailing him on horses, fed on a diet of entirely Genetically Modified potatoes that contains 10x more starch and glucose than ordinary potatoes. The potatoes are under extreme survillance in case of a breach of securtiy. If, however, by any unfortunate circumstances that the Mammoth has a hold on the potatoes, the World would be doomed. Back to the story of tailing Clement down. We tracked him down on his truck while he was fixed of anxiety. With the sack of potatoes as bait, he prepared and waited for the feared potato-eating freak-of-nature to show up. The sack of potatoes lasted 15 seconds after it was placed as bait. Upon seeing the Mammoth, Clement open-fire in a rage of frenzy. Unfortunately, Clement had only bought 100 bullets which was no where enough to kill the Mammoth. In less than 2 seconds, the bullets were gone. This marks the idiocy that Clement now have. Without anymore weaponary, Clement panicked and reached for his plastic knife.

The Mammoth, seeing the sharp yet weak plastic knife, panicked. He roared in fear before rolling away again towards the direction of Alaska. It was believed that his phobia of plastic knifes started when he was about to eat a potato whole. He didn't noticed there was a plastic knife stuck to it as the fats from the potatoes covered his eyes. He now relies on his keen smell to track down and consume potatoes. The plastic knife choked him and disabled him from consuming more potatoes until he made the until sacrificed of reaching inside his throat to pull it out. No one knows how he was able to do it as his arms are too fat to even touch his inverted nipples which probably taste like potato juice.

No one really knows why the Mammoth has fled to Alaska but rumours tell of an underground potato farm, which nearly produces 40% of the whole potato harvest. If, by any chance if it was true, the potato species would be brought down by over 150% and all potatoes would have to be replaced with sweet potatoes. On other news, more desperate measures are being taken to produce more potatoes to tally with the increasing demand for it. Scientist, using Genetic Engineering has cross-bred the Russet Burbank potatoes, known to be used in French fries and potato chips, with the fictional species of the Sweet Potato plant, known as the Mammoth-hates-these Burbank sweet potatoes. The new species, named The-next-victim-of-the-Mammoth Burbank potatoes are much sweeter than their Russet Burbank cousins and are much higher in their carbohydrates content. However, it has come with a deadly poisonous toxins in each tubers. No none antidote has been found and this, could be the salvation that could end the potato-eating feral child known as the Mammoth.

Gyan, the Sudden News Report correspondent, reporting in. Stay tuned for more news about the new potato species and how it will end this salvation of potatoes.

News Update

2008-11-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

After yesterday night's Is It Real? show, scientist believed that the mammoth might be surviving in the wild during childhood until recently it appeared. Wild child or feral child is a term where a child acts like a animal, evidences suggest that the mammoth might be raised up by one of the last few surviving mammoth during the past. The picture is suggested by a scientist what the mammoth might look like in during his childhood. About the Science Centre incident yesterday, investigator found out more information on the mammoth, he said: " I know that all of us wants to catch this mammoth but the police needs public to help us nab him, rain are pouring nowadays so if u saw a naked boy drying his clothes, pls, inform the police immediately. Zhider reporting at corocoro news

News Update

2008-11-06T02:08:00.000-08:00

This picture was believed to be the Potato Clock that the Mammoth has eyes on before arriving in Science Centre. The claimed scientific gadget could no longer be put up on display since the Mammoth has swallowed it without hesitation.

The image was captured by a teenage boy who was also going around Science Centre. "I was one of the few lucky ones, I guess. I didn't even know that it would be the last time that anyone was going to see the Clock again. I felt really sorry for it..." he quoted before breaking down into tears. What more could the Mammoth have done to make us suffer due to his Potato Madness? I'm the correspondent of Sudden News Report and you're reading the Coro Coro News Blog. Goodnight and remember, "Carrying a potato while going outside could lead to your death."

News Update

2008-11-06T01:56:00.000-08:00

Today, we followed the trail of the gigantic Mammoth to a trip to the Science Centre. Many of us had many questions even by just reading that legal statement. "How did he manage to fit into the MRT and not attack any people just because they smell like potatoes?" or "Why did he even go there in the first place?" All very logical questions which might be answered shortly thereafter.

Our reporters and correspondents sneaked in disguised as fellow CCKSS students to catch what are the gigantic Mammoth might be doing. The first thing that he did was to go to the Potato Clock exhibit. He gaze in awe at the perfectly shaped potatoes before smashing the casing and swallowing down the potatoes. However, he did not stop there. He continued to rampage and attack all passerby demanding for potatoes. Knowing that they do not have them, without hesistation at all, tou-poked them into extremely flat roti pratas. One Indian roti prata vendor was reported after seeing him squashing a British couple on tour in the Science Centre, "Oh my god la deh, I've never see such a flat roti prata! Even the best roti prata maker in Singapore or India cannot do this kind of thing..." The amazed man quoted. His stupid Indian accent makes it hard to understand him, unfortunately.

Even so, the Mammoth bombarded the Science Centre's MacDonalds only to demand French Fries. He swallowed them with the cardboard holder and he'd only stop to catch his breath. After finishing all their supplies of potato, he tou-pok the manager and rolled away. With all those starch and glucose obtained from the potatoes, he rolled at an amazing speed of 100km/h. Scientist are now discussing whether we could use potatoes to power up our cars. Unfortunately, that'd only happen when the Mammoth is finnaly dead and no longer bring hopelessness of not having potatoes at all.

We'll bring you more updates soon, but keep in touch with Coro Coro News with it's partner, Sudden News Report for more news about the Mammoth and his craze for potatoes that are piping hot. Stay tuned. I'm Sudden News Report correspondent, Gyan, reporting. Goodnight everybody.

2008-11-03T18:34:00.000-08:00

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this morning we would be reporting about the recent television programme shown on Okto. "Is it real?" : Feral Children was supposed to conduct the lifestyles of the notorious Mammoth. However, the filming crew found it hard to even film the Mammoth without bribes of potatoes.

When they manage to obtain some footage and was about to air it, the Mammoth broke into the television station and destroyed the film. He roared the word "Potatoes!" and ran off leaving many expensive equipments damaged to an extent of being classified as "The Mammoth was here" class of destruction. No one was hurt except the security guard, who has been robbed of his mashed potatoes lunch. To put it bluntly, he's not a happy potato. The guard refused to be questions nor filmed but he was known as Clement, the recent winner of the Survivor : Mammoth Series. He lost his job trying to compete for the event and therefore had to work as a security guard.

He was last seen storming off in anger and planning to exact revenge on the Mammoth. The series would go on even without the footage. It would mostly describes his violent personality. Some scientist are starting to believe that the 2004 Tsunami disaster was caused by our chaotic friend due to his short-tempered nature and to destroy everything in his path just for a plain old potato. Though it was not known why he would search the Indian Ocean for potatoes, but there's one thing known about him - He's a complete and utter idiot.

Gyan, of Sudden News Report, reporting. Please stay tuned for more updates about our gigantic Mammoth freak.

Entertainment News

2008-11-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

The update continues in corocoro news. The gigantic mammoth was found again yesterday outside a local white house in geylang. He was found coming out of the house by one of our reporters. A recent tv series in okto will be featuring the mammoth's lifestyle etc. The show name is called: "Is It Real?" : Feral Children. it will be on this coming thursday on 10 p.m. Thats all for today's coro coro news.

Flashback News

2008-11-02T20:36:00.000-08:00

The Update continues on the issue on the mammothic boy incident. Let us do some flashback, on the 2nd of september, a boy in a local secondary school got bitten by a mammoth during a trip to Antarctica to buy some heineken. On the 4th of september, the boy had a crazy love for potatoes, mammothic hairs also started to grow from different parts of his body including the scared part or the pivate part. And so, mammoth is awaken.

Entertainment News

2008-10-22T05:43:00.001-07:00

The new computer games are out!! The ranking of the most popular computer games are as shown.

1) Mammothic Potato Hunt
2) World Of Warcraft: Wrath Of The Potatoes
3) House Of The Potatoes 4
4) Resident Evil: Potatoquakes
5) DotA Potatoes See Stars
6) Potato Mammoth Run
7) Find The Tapioca
8) Call Of Duty 7
9) House Of The Dead 6
10) Survivor Mammoth Assault, The PC Game

News Update

2008-10-22T05:38:00.000-07:00

Today, the mammoth started playing dotA with online players, the first hero he used was the ogre magi, <<<< the picture of the actual ogre. it could be that maybe he chosen dis hero bcuz it looks like him? no one really knows. Be aware dat the mammoth has also when to various blogs to beg for more potatoes, pls do not confront the mammoth and give him the potato as its a really dangerous thing to do. Not much more news on the mammoth today.

News Update

2008-10-18T03:40:00.000-07:00

Coro Coro news staring the lastest report from the Sudden News Report, the reporter from the sudden news report gyan, reported dat a winner has finally emerged out of the new season of the survivor, mammoth assault edition. The winner clement claimed that it was pure luck that he won the grand price of the Golden Potato Sculpture worth 50,000 dollars. It really seems that luck was really on his side as many other contestants suffered many bone fractures and bruises. We are now worried about the sculpture as the mammoth would come and attack Clement because of the potato sculpture, Clement also commented dat it is a retarded thing to do to bring a potato around.
Cororo news, staring the Sudden News Report. Thank You

Entertainment News

2008-10-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

Back to corocoro's entertainment news. Survivor is back! The new tv series, survivor mammoth assault.The main challenges is for contestants to survive the mammoth's potato barrage for3 whole minutes inside an enclosure. The 2nd challenge is for challengers to try and steal a potato from the mammoth and run into the goal to win. Lastly, the 3rd challenge reqires contestants to grab a potato provided by our sponsors the "GIANT POTATO" which its stocks is almost wipe out by the last potato incident at their farms, contestants has to grab the potato and run 3 laps around the mammoth, the total distance is estimated to be about 2.1km. Interested participants can register via our website here or by phone,: 69648517. Thank You.

News Update

2008-10-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

Tune your tv to the new okto! The brand new channel will feature the blockbuster "the advanture of the overfeed boy" staring the mammoth. Be sure to catch it from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.!

The Rise Of News

2008-10-08T23:53:00.000-07:00

We have a lot of news for u at coro coro news!

Today's new, the united states confirmed dat a overfeeded boy in singapore called the mammoth gained another kg today afternoon. The mammoth now holds the record of the world'smost overfeed child.